Indecision and OCD: Why “What If I Make the Wrong Choice?” Can Feel Paralyzing
Every human being makes countless decisions every day. Some happen automatically. Others can feel agonizing. For people with OCD, indecision is often not simply about being “careful” or “thoughtful.” Decisions can become emotionally exhausting because OCD treats uncertainty like danger.
Questions begin piling up:
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“What if this is the wrong choice?”
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“What if I regret this forever?”
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“What if there’s a better option?”
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"What if my decision displeases God?"
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“What if I overlooked something important?”
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“What if I can’t live with the consequences?”
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"What if I didn't check well enough?"
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"What if I didn't wash my hands the right way?"
At River City OCD Clinic, we often explain that OCD turns decision-making into an impossible search for certainty, something no human being can actually achieve.
OCD Wants Decisions to Feel “Right”
In his book Freedom From Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Dr. Jonathan Grayson describes how many individuals with OCD struggle with indecision. They often assume:
“If I make the right choice, I should feel certain, comfortable, or completely satisfied afterward.”
Unfortunately, real life does not work that way. Most people experience some degree of uncertainty, mixed emotion, or even regret after making decisions. There’s even a common term for this: "buyer's remorse."
But OCD tends to interpret normal uncertainty as evidence that: “The decision must be wrong.”
And so the compulsions and rituals begin:
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Endless research online
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Repeated comparisons
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Asking for reassurance
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Mental reviewing of what thoughts and feelings mean
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Seeking the ever-elusive “one final answer”
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Delaying decisions, even though delaying or not deciding is still a decision
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Attempting to reverse decisions that have already been made
Dr. Grayson explains that we cannot know whether a decision was "right/wrong" until it is too late to reverse it.
Sadly, indecision results in paralysis.
The Goal Is Not Perfect Decisions
One of the most important ideas in OCD treatment is this:
Recovery is not about learning how to make perfect decisions. It is about learning how to make good-enough decisions while accepting uncertainty.
Dr. Grayson writes that overcoming indecision means accepting the possibility of imperfect decisions and learning how to live with uncertainty, regret, or disappointment if they occur.
That shift is difficult because OCD constantly promises: “If you think hard enough, you can eliminate uncertainty and make the right decision.”
But the search never ends. Eventually, people often discover that: “No decision” becomes a decision too.
And usually one organized around fear. We're here to teach you how to be mindfully aware of how OCD influences your decision-making process.
Response Prevention for Indecision in OCD
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) for indecision in OCD often involves intentionally reducing the rituals surrounding decision-making.
That might include:
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Setting time limits for decisions
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Limiting how much information is collected from sources
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Asking others for advice only once
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Choosing not to revisit decisions after they've already been made
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Allowing uncertainty and regret to be present
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Purposely making small decisions quickly
Dr. Grayson’s response prevention guidelines emphasize learning to tolerate uncertainty rather than endlessly extending the decision-making process.
One of the more surprising ERP tools for indecision?
Sometimes flipping a coin.
Not because the coin “knows” the right answer, but because OCD often overestimates the possibility of achieving perfect certainty through analysis alone.
Common OCD Compulsions & Rituals Around Indecision
Indecision in OCD often involves compulsions that temporarily reduce uncertainty but strengthen doubt long term.
These may include:
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Excessive Googling or AI research
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Comparing options repeatedly, like listing pros and cons or costs and benefits
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Asking multiple people for advice
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Mentally replaying conversations
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Returning purchases constantly
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Seeking the perfect option
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Re-reading emails or texts before sending
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Delaying commitments indefinitely
Dr. Grayson notes that reassurance-seeking and “figuring it out” are among the primary compulsions maintaining indecision in OCD.
Unfortunately, compulsions teach the brain:
“This decision is dangerous and requires certainty before I take any sort of action.”
Two Tools for Indecision: The Survey Method and Double-Standard Method
Many people with OCD lose track of what “normal” decision-making even looks like. Dr. Grayson recommends two Tool that can be used in response to indecision: the Survey Method and Double Standard Method.
The Survey Method: This tool helps individuals compare their behavior to how non-sufferers typically approach making decisions. One might imagine giving a survey to a group of 100 people who do not have OCD. If greater than 51 people chose Option A over Option B, then you would go with Option A (for better or worse).
For example:
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How long do most people spend choosing cereal?
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How many times do most people reread an email?
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How many opinions do most people seek before making a routine choice?
Importantly, this method is not meant to provide reassurance. It is meant to raise awareness of OCD's involvement in decision-making, as well as set things in motion without delaying a decision.
The Double-Standard Method: This tool examines whether someone holds themselves to harsher standards than everyone else.
For example: “If someone else made this mistake, would I believe they were irresponsible or terrible?”
In ERP enhanced using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), the goal is not convincing yourself that nothing bad could happen. The goal of ACT-enhanced ERP is learning:
“I can make choices while accepting uncertainty, especially while I'm engaged in value-centered activities."
Choice, Agency, and OCD Recovery
Dr. Steve Phillipson’s work on choice beautifully captures something central to OCD recovery:
“We can choose how we respond to OCD.”
OCD often tries to convince people they are helpless passengers being dragged around by fear, doubt, and emotion.
ACT-enhanced ERP teaches something different. People can choose to:
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Stop debating intrusive thoughts
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Stop seeking complete certainty or perfection in decision-making
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Lean into discomfort
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Move toward values anyway
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Let thoughts and feelings exist without obeying them
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Resist giving into experiential avoidance when discomfort is present
Dr. Phillipson emphasizes that recovery involves learning to act from one’s values and chosen direction rather than automatically reacting to fear-driven thoughts and feelings.
That shift restores agency.
And for many people with OCD, that becomes life-changing.
Final Thoughts...
Indecision in OCD is not about you “being bad at choices.” It is often a relentless struggle with uncertainty, responsibility, regret, and the impossible demand to feel completely certain before moving forward.
Recovery does not come from finally eliminating doubt.
It comes from learning how to make choices, tolerate uncertainty, and continue building a meaningful life even without guarantees.
Because ultimately, a values-based imperfect choice is often far healthier than a life spent paralyzed with indecision.
Services That Target OCD Using Evidence-Based Approaches are Accessible in Kentucky, Indiana, and Many Locations Today
At River City OCD Clinic, our clinicians specialize in ACT-enhanced ERP for OCD, perfectionism, anxiety disorders, and indecision-related compulsions. We offer individual therapy, group therapy, telehealth services, and specialized OCD treatment throughout Kentucky and across participating PSYPACT states (learn more by visiting Dr. Street Russell's profile page). Dr. Street Russell also provides professional consultation for therapists in need of OCD training.